Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

My Biggest Personal Growth This Year

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And that’s a wrap, folks.

2016 is almost out the door and we are ready to usher in a sparkling new year. I love taking time at the end of the year, when the days are short and the nights long and cold, to light a candle, pour myself a glass of red wine, and reflect.

This past year was a doozy for many, that I know for certain.

For me personally, it felt like a really powerful year. Like the type of year where there is a revolution going on, except in this case I was the only one with a front row seat. Because this revolution was all taking place inside me.

I feel like a different person than I did last year at this time. My desires and plans for 2017 are bigger and yet feel more within reach than ever before. The only reason for that is that I have changed.

A good part of this past year (and the tail end of 2015 as well) has been devoted to unearthing and stepping into my inner wise woman. This has meant looking deeply and honestly at all the ways that I still let my little girl energy rule the day, how she has served me in the past, and how she is holding me back from honoring my wild woman energy now.

The little girl in me is so good, y’all. She is a people pleaser and everyone likes her, and this is really important to her. She never wants to hurt anyone’s feelings and will shirk her own truth to keep others comfortable and happy. She loves receiving acclaim and accolades and praise; she feeds on the approval of others and fears their disapproval.

She was keeping me small. She was insecure. She needed others to tell her that she was good enough, and therefore was never able to take full ownership of her own creative power.

This year, over and over again, I told her, “It’s okay, I got this,” and gently pried her hands from the steering wheel of my life and tucked her safely in the backseat. Let me be clear; I didn’t banish her from my car! Heck no, because she still has spunk, and is vivacious and silly and imaginative and joyful. I love her and I need her; she is an important part of me.

Placing her in the backseat of my life is placing her where she belongs; she is now free to look out the window and daydream and play games.

She won’t need to struggle to drive the car and direct my life anymore when she can hardly see over the dashboard and her feet don’t reach the pedals. That is not where she shines.

I noticed her every time I said YES to something without pausing and checking in with my body, and then immediately regretted it.

I noticed her in the tone of voice I used on calls and in emails.

I noticed her in phrases like, “I am just writing to you because…” As if I was implicitly apologizing for having the audacity to take up someone’s time with my words.

I noticed her every time my body would contract and my shoulders roll forward to make myself smaller.

I noticed her when I couldn’t get up the nerve to fire our gardener who would consistently take advantage of my kindness.

I noticed her every time I went against what felt true in my body because I didn’t want to disappoint someone else or have a difficult conversation.

I noticed her every time I would edit out a “shit” or a “fuck” from my Facebook posts because I knew my parents would see it.

Over and over again I would simply notice, and slowly, over time I began to realize that the part of me that was noticing was my wise woman. From there I started to consciously make different choices, one by one, from a more empowered place.

From a sovereign feminine place.

Not as a little girl, but as a woman.

I have spent this year looking at old thoughts, belief systems, and patterns of behavior. I have continually purged and shed those that no longer served me, those that had been created as a crutch, and I have introduced new more empowering paradigms, or old ones that were buried within me long ago.

The work is by no way complete. It never will be.

Life is an endless process of becoming, and that is how I like it. It keeps it interesting.

But moving into 2017 I feel lighter. Stronger. More anchored into myself.

Thank you for bearing witness to my continual unfolding. Thank you for being a part of my journey. For 2017 I wish you love, grace, ease, and magic on your own soul’s journey of embodiment and becoming.

Happy Holidays.

Most Common Mistake in Making Resolutions

Happy Holidays birdies!! ‘Tis that time again…to look back at 2016. Everything that we are grateful for and those things that may not have gone exactly as we would have liked. AND it’s time to begin setting intentions and resolutions for 2017.

Who do you desire to be this year? How do you want this year to be different?

Most New Year’s Resolutions fail miserably, and in this video I talk about WHY that is. And it’s not because you suck and lack willpower or discipline or whatever other horrible stories you have told yourself.

You say you want a revolution…

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Every revolution starts within.

It is easier to focus our attention on that which is outside of us, to want to tear down the structures of coercion, shame, control, and punishment.

It is much more difficult to do the hard work of looking within and seeing where we have internalized those voices.

Where do you cage yourself?

Where do you judge without compassion?

Where do you shame yourself (or others) for the inevitable offense of being human?

Only when you do the work of freeing yourself on the inside will you be able to enact the change you wish to see on the outside.

Remember…

“As above, so below, as within, so within, as the universe, so the soul…” – Hermes Trismegistus