Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

Move Beneath Your Anger

First things first. You need music for this video and this practice. To access my accompanying Spotify playlist (recommended!), click here. For those of you using different music services, the three songs to be played in order are: 1. Rise – Jason Mraz, 2. Angel by the Wings – Sia, and 3. Dog Days Are Over – Florence and the Machine.

Are you pissed off? Does one look at the news or your Facebook feed make you feel searing hot rage at the state of the world?

Because I am, and it does.

Anger is a powerful emotion, and channeled it can be an amazing agent of transformation. As women, we have been taught that feeling and/or expressing our anger is not okay, and thus we have stifled our voices to be “good” girls.

So when I say this, I ask that you hear me from this place: It’s okay and healthy and needed and justified for you to be angry.

But anger is also a tricky little beast. Our ego and self-importance feed on righteous anger for breakfast. It becomes like an addiction, because in a way, it feels really good to be angry. Anger allows us to feel powerful.

Anger is our inner warrior that we send out into the world. But we mustn’t lose sight of what that anger is protecting, who that warrior is working on behalf of.

Underneath that mask of anger there is often frustration, disbelief, and fear.

And even deeper inside, hidden in your very core like a prize jewel, is the most gentle and tender part of you.

If your most tender self is anything like my most tender self, what she feels right now is GRIEF.

Tremendous sadness for the plight of other human beings, for how we are treating our planet and every living being on it.

But sadness is an emotion that we are not very comfortable with. Unlike anger, it feels super soft and vulnerable. In the patriarchy, we have been taught that sadness is WEAK. Even in some spiritual circles (many of which are still based in mostly masculine paradigms) sadness is given the shaft, referred to as being “low vibration” or not being in our peak state.

It is no wonder we do everything in our power to not feel our grief. We throw blankets of positivity on it. We numb it out or distract ourselves with food, work, or alcohol. Instead of climbing into our bodies and letting sadness move through us, we push it down by thinking of ten things we are grateful for instead. We spiritually bypass the messy parts of our humanity.

We never give our grief a chance to be felt, to teach us what it needs to and then MOVE on.

The word EMOTION literally means IN MOTION. That is because feelings are meant to move through the body. But when we repress the emotions we are less comfortable with, when we don’t give them space to be expressed or heard or felt, they get STUCK in our bodies.

Over time this causes blockages, constriction, tightness, you name it.

This week, I invite you to dance with the grief, move with your tenderness and allow it to move you.

P.S. If you are new to this type of movement, where no one is telling you what to do or not do, it might feel awkward. That’s okay. Do it anyway. Move gently through the discomfort to come back home to your own body and the way that she desires to move through the world.

Get into a space where you feel comfortable and won’t be interrupted. Getting naked (metaphorically speaking…or physically if you are ready for that!) and vulnerable can be difficult enough to do with oneself, much less if there is a chance that someone is watching!

And after you have allowed yourself to move with your sadness, after you have given it a voice, we are going to shake our bodies vigorously. This is one of my favorite practices from Kundalini Yoga and Qoya, and it is a quick and easy way to reset your nervous system and come back to the natural state of your body.

If you desire to come back home to your feminine body, to move through the world with greater strength and fluidity, trusting your capacity to feel and hold it all, registration for my virtual embodiment program Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body opens TOMORROW. If you register before February 22nd, you will also receive a bonus one-on-one follow-up coaching session to help you seamlessly integrate all that you uncover into your daily life.

 

 

Exhausted by all your responsibilities?

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A few weeks ago I wrote about how the personal development journey that I have been on for the last couple of years has in many ways centered around embodying the energy of the wise woman, and placing my little girl in the backseat of my life where she belongs (read that post here).

Everyone’s little girl behaves differently, but there are usually a few commonalities. Need for approval. Fear of disapproval/fear of being wrong. Permission seeking. A desire to be seen as “good”.

But there is another facet of the little girl that is more insidious and sneaky, and for me, noticing and changing this pattern has been nothing short of life altering.

It’s called over-functioning.

My coach dropped this bombshell on me in our first session together back in 2015. I had no idea what she meant. Over-functioning?? Huh?? I was functioning perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Except that I wasn’t.

Over-functioning is basically where you take on more responsibility than is yours to take on in any relationship of your life.

For me, much of this came from a place of being concerned for other people and looked something like this:

I worried that my dad wasn’t eating healthy enough; I thought, if only I could cook for him, and help him to exercise, and control this entire area of his life, things would be so much better.

In this way, over-functioning and concern tends to mask what might otherwise be referred to as a God-complex.

You see other people in your life not living up to their potential or making mistakes, and you want to step in. You offer advice where none is sought. You fret about them. You are full of thoughts of what they “should” be doing instead.

Because underneath that concern is an underlying belief that YOU know how someone should live better than they do, and that if only you could control everything in their lives, things would be so much better for everyone. Thus, the God-complex. (This can also be a wonderful way to not deal with your own shit, but that will need to go in a whole other post.)

Over-functioning can also manifest as taking on more and more responsibility in your home, in your family, or at work because otherwise you fear things won’t get done at all or that they won’t get done right…aka to your precise liking.

In either of these two examples you might notice a common theme.

And that is fear. Fear that if you let go of the reigns, even for a second, everything is going to fall apart. Over-functioning doesn’t arise from a strong, confident, trusting energy; it is based in fear and insecurity.

In short, it comes from your little girl, not your wise woman.

his is because this pattern of behavior typically starts in childhood or adolescence. For whatever reason, at some point we began taking on more responsibility than was ours to bear.

Regardless of why the behavior developed, in all likelihood this shit isn’t working for you as a grown-ass woman.

You are probably over-worked. Doing way too much. Deeply concerned about too many things that are entirely outside of your control. Starting to feel resentful that no one is thanking you for your effort or taking on their fair share.

It’s exhausting.

And while you are over there, trying to live someone else’s life for them, no one is living yours.

That is why it is SO IMPORTANT that we not only begin to notice and become conscious to these patterns in our lives, but then also begin to make different choices. To consciously come from our wild and wise woman energy instead of that uncertain little girl. The wise woman takes full ownership and responsibility for herself and her life and her choices, and allows others the freedom to do the same.

If you are in Austin, on February 2nd we are going to be digging into this topic at the first Wildly Feminine & Free event this year called EMBODYING YOUR WISE AND WILD WOMAN: AN INITIATION. You can get all of the details and reserve your space today by clicking here.

This is also part of the work that I do with my one-on-one clients. Having crossed that threshold myself I know in my bones how imperative it is that we as women come from this wild and wise place if we wish to have the impact on the world that we desire.

Little girls are beautiful and imaginative and playful. Women are sovereign and strong and wise. We need both energies, but we have come to the time where we can no longer bully our little girls into leading us. It is time for the wise woman within to take the little girl by the hand and light the way.

Click here to schedule your free Discovery Session now.

Feeling Frazzled? Try this 10 minute grounding movement…

Have you been feeling frazzled lately? A little anxious, perhaps? Or like you are running around from thing to thing and never really have a chance to land? If yes, read on.

Modern life is moving faster than ever (um how is it already the middle of January?!?).

Our culture is overwhelmingly masculine and values doing over being, which results in us feeling like we need to be doing more and more and more, and yet it’s never enough.

We work at desks, sit in front of screens, and rarely move our bodies throughout the day.

All of this results in us being up in our heads…All. The. Time. Thinking. Churning. Analyzing. Over-analyzing. Running ourselves in never-ending mental loops, causing excessive worry, anxiety, and unneeded stress.

Especially now. Things are a little crazy, I admit. But that’s why coming back into your body is SO IMPORTANT.

Your body and sensuality are your ticket to presence, a fun and feminine way to slow down your mind and ground into the now.

You don’t need to escape or transcend the body, or sit on a pillow in complete silence for an hour a day (unless that totally jives with you, and in which case, please continue). For the rest of us, it can be enough to just put on some music and dance.

That is why I created this short, 10-minute grounding movement and meditation practice. I want you to experience, through movement and music (accompanying playlist is available on Spotify by clicking here, but any music that feels good in your body is perfect), what it feels like to be in your body and connect to that grounding, feminine, earthy energy.

This is how we begin to find wholeness and balance, both within ourselves and in the culture at large. It starts by creating a nurturing relationship with our bodies, a relationship based upon respect and reverence for these sacred vessels of ours. Instead of plowing over the body with the mind (aka willpower), which is what much of the current exercise and boot camp mentality does, we integrate them. We give the body a voice and honor her wisdom.

And it doesn’t need to be difficult or boring, or yet another thing you “should” be doing. Allow it to be fun. A dance. A celebration. A royal booty shaking. So take 10 minutes out of your day and try it out. You will even see a Sophie appearance in the video as she decides to chew her stick on my mat…cause #reallife y’all. The video doesn’t have music in the background, but you can access my playlist here or put on anything that tickles your fancy!

To deepen your feminine embodiment journey, my 8-week virtual group program Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body begins on March 18th, and registration opens February 1st. Through weekly videos, thought-provoking journaling questions to help you dig deeper, and an accompanying movement practice that allows you to literally embody and move through that week’s topic, you will reclaim your body for yourself, tap into your feelings and intuition, and embody the queen within.

Make sure you are signed up for my newsletter and I will let you know when registration is open! For more information on the program, click here.

Afraid of Failure? Read This.

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You may have heard this quotable question that seems like it is the favorite of life coaches around the world…

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” – Robert Schuller

It is a little cheesy, I admit, but it’s also popular for a reason.

The fear of failure is LEGIT y’all.

It will prevent you from pursuing your passion. It will stop you from even honoring and following your curiosities enough to find out whether they will blossom into full-fledged passions. It prevents you from bringing your gifts out into the world fully, keeps you from playing full out, being all in, putting heart and soul on the line in everything that you do and create and are.

It can be all encompassing and in your face, so large that you can’t even take a peek around it to see what is on the other side.

Or it can be insidious and sneaky and cleverly disguise itself in things like procrastination and perfectionism.

“Oh I can’t put it out into the world right now. It’s not ready yet. I am not ready yet.”

Guess what? You’ll never be ready. That’s what the fear wants. It’s not that fear wants to keep you small per say, but it does want to keep you safe.

The issue is that oftentimes the things we believe will keep us safe also end up keeping us small.

A few months ago I had this realization that literally CHANGED EVERYTHING for me regarding failure and my fear around it.

Ready for it?

Failure is not an option because failure doesn’t exist.

It is a mental construct that I don’t buy into anymore. Nothing else.

You define what is and is not a failure. It is all in your perspective.

Though I am not a student of A Course In Miracles, I do love this quote:

“A miracle is just a shift in perception from fear to love.”

Let me give you an example. When I labeled something I had done in my past as a failure, maybe an art piece that I created that didn’t turn out exactly as I had imagined or a program that didn’t jive with people the way that I had hoped, I was making those occurrences mean something about me. I was making them mean, “I am a failure.”

Those events I categorized as failures meant that I had done something wrong. That I was in someway not good enough, that I wasn’t cut out for it. Putting it plainly, the underlying belief was “I suck” and every supposed failure strengthened that belief.

Then, suddenly I began to see with what felt like new eyes. I got curious. I wondered what would happen if I viewed myself not as a failure, but as a success, regardless of what the external circumstances were?

What happened is that I began giving those old “failures” new meaning. They meant that I was growing and learning. There was a lesson in it for me. It wasn’t in divine timing. There were other plans for my life that I wasn’t aware of.

Once I let go of looking at myself as a failure, there were SO MANY other interpretations and lenses through which to view my so-called failures that felt way more empowering to me.

There was nothing that could happen in my outside world that could make me into a failure because by my very being I was already a success.

THAT is a shift in perception from fear to love. Old perception – Fear that I suck. New perception – Love myself and know that I am intrinsically worthy and already a success.

With the new perception, the inevitable obstacles and challenges on my path don’t feel as daunting. They don’t knock me on my ass. They are simply nudges from the universe to remind me to stay rooted in self-love and self-worth. They may push me in a slightly different direction or send me on a beautiful circular journey, but IT’S ALL GOOD.

I have more courage. More strength. A desire to be in the game, playing full-out, no holds barred.

And the only thing that happened was internal…a change in perspective.

If that is not miraculous, I don’t know what is.

Don’t let fear of failure hold you back from living the life you desire, the life that you were born for. Trust me. It can. It is a pain in the ass in that way.

Click here to schedule your initial Discovery Session with me now and see if coaching is a good fit for you. I would love to help you shift your perspective and see yourself with new eyes so that you can put yourself, and your gifts, out into the world fully.

The time for playing small is over.

A Challenge/Invitation for You in 2017

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Happy Happy 2017, wild souls!!

I am issuing you a challenge for this year, or rather, an invitation: EMBRACE CREATION. The wild feminine is by its very nature creative. By creative, I mean in the mode of creation. Birthing something new, whether that be a child, a book, a website, a design for your living room, a new way of being.

You have probably set your intentions for the year at this point, or at the very least thought about your desires.

When thinking of desire, many people get stuck in thinking of what they want to GET.

I want a supportive community. A new car. A loving relationship. A baby. The courage to put my sacred work out into the world unapologetically.

While this can be a good start, it’s also a PASSIVE way of looking at desire. It is sitting back and asking other people or the universe to give us what we need.

Like “hey, here is my power; I’d really prefer if you take it from me because being over here in victim mode is so much easier and more comfortable for me.”

Here is my invitation….Flip that question on desire from what you want to GET to what you want to CREATE. Put yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life.

Don’t sit back and simply expect the universe to deliver. Meet it halfway.

Want a supportive community that understands what you are about? How can you begin to create that? What would having that FEEL like? How can you create those feelings in your life right now?

2017 is the year to take back your feminine power as a creative powerhouse. Feeling stuck has way less to do with your external circumstances and way more to do with how you feel and think about them, and yourself.

Here is the kicker, though. Some things in our lives (actually much more than we like to consider) are outside of our realm of control.

Then the question becomes how do we stay in the creative space when we don’t have control of the outcome? How can we keep the faith that life is happening for us and unfolding precisely as it is meant to even if it may not look like it to the eyes of our egos?

I love doing this work with women because women who are unleashed, who have freed their creative potential, are going to change the world. It’s already begun.

In my one-on-one coaching sessions, we will unlock your true desires and burn through any blocks that are preventing you from sharing your soul voice with the world. You will reclaim your position of power and sovereignty over your own life.

Schedule your free Discovery Session by clicking here. Your time to rise is now… you just need to claim it.

Much love for a rocking 2017, wild ones. Let’s do this.