Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

We have been sold a false bill of goods.

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“…Once we begin to feel deeply all the aspects of our lives, we begin to demand from ourselves and from our life-pursuits that they feel in accordance with that joy which we know ourselves to be capable of.” – Audre Lorde

There is much talk these days of the feminine awakening and rising on the planet. That is all well and good, but the above quote provided me with a beautiful reminder…

Before the feminine can rise on the planet, she needs space to breathe life back into each one of us.

One of the super powers of the feminine is that of FEELING deeply.

Thousands of years of patriarchy has taught us that feeling is equated to weakness, but that is not true. Being courageous and daring enough to feel is a strength.

There is a reason that we were sold the lie that to feel is to be weak. When we are disconnected from our feeling centers – our bodies, hearts, and souls – we are much easier to manipulate and control.

We swallow what we are told is good for us without second guessing it.

We believe someone else knows better.

But when we come back into our bodies, we begin to instinctively feel what is nourishing and what isn’t. What is true and what isn’t.

Digging into and unearthing your feelings isn’t always an easy process. It involves lifting up the patchwork rug that is our day-to-day lives. You know, the one that has been stitched together for convenience, efficiency, and meeting other’s expectations.

Underneath it is what remains of our soul life. The parts of our lives that have been ravaged.

The parts where we have ravaged ourselves.

The impetus will be to quickly lay the rug back down and pretend that we didn’t see. Pretend that we can go on living our lives on the surface, working mediocre jobs, stressing over things that truly do not matter to us, and neglecting that which truly does.

But feeling and looking and daring to see is the invitation. The initiation into the wild feminine.

She asks us to look at everything we have swept underneath the rug – our hopes and dreams and deepest soul desires – that have begun to rot and become fetid, and not turn away.

Instead, she asks us to gently begin picking through the wreckage and allow ourselves to FEEL the hurt of each and every neglect…

Every time we didn’t honor our own worth.

Every time we chose comfort and convenience over truth.

Every time we heard the whisper of our soul voice and turned our back to it because we weren’t ready. It was too hard. Now wasn’t the right time.

We rummage through the wreckage and we grieve.

Then, like a phoenix rising from the fucking ashes we begin again. We put our lives back together, but this time in a way that honors our feelings, that values our feminine intuition and knowing, instead of crushing it.

We use the hurt and pain that we uncovered as a way to re-align our inner compass towards joy, love, and truth.

When that compass is in place we know and trust that we will not be fooled again. We may stray from our path on occasion, but we will know it almost immediately because of how it feels.

Because of how we become smaller, and how our hearts contract and our throats constrict.

THIS. This is the power of the feminine rising. It begins within each and every one of us, and it ripples out into the world.

Because when you have the courage to confront the wreckage in your own life and not run for the hills, you will be able to stand it outside of yourself as well. You will be able to look out at the wreckage of the world, feel it, grieve it, and then rise to give birth to something better.

Women sometimes ask me why they should get back into their bodies or what that means, and I have such a hard time answering that question because this is the answer that I really want to give (or at least some of it!). It’s long and it’s complex and it’s messy; it’s pretty much the opposite of the 30-second elevator pitch I learned about in marketing.

But holy shit, it is TRUE.

Reclaiming your body may feel small and insignificant, but it is EVERYTHING. It is the first step on the journey to reclaiming your life.

THIS is what Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body is about. Digging in to uncover what is true. Going beneath the superficial crap that keeps us judging our bodies as if they are our entry into the chili cook-off…too much of this, too little of that, too spicy, not hot enough, a consistent work in progress, better luck next year.

When we get stuck there, we can’t go deeper; we stroll straight past the portal to lasting healing and joy for ourselves and the planet. It is time for the feminine to awaken. For matter to awaken. For our bodies to awaken. For feeling to awaken. For truth to awaken.

Spring Session of Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body begins March 18th.

 

Unearthing Your WILD BODY

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Tomorrow is the last opportunity to take advantage of the early bird BONUS for Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body! If you register before midnight 2/22 you will receive a free one-on-one coaching session after the conclusion of the program to help you sort through and integrate the insights. It’s a really great way to help you solidify the positive transformation of how you relate to your body. (Click here to register now and claim your bonus coaching session)

Today I want to talk a little bit about the WILD body. What the heck is that, anyway?

Contrary to what you might be picturing, reclaiming your wild body doesn’t mean that you will be running through the fields barefoot and naked (although I am all for that if it floats your boat!).

The wild body is the INSTINCTUAL body and when we infuse it with consciousness, it helps to heal the rift between the mind and the body. It allows us to tap into the wisdom that is stored within our very cells.

We have been taught in western culture that the body needs to be controlled and managed (especially women’s bodies) with our all-mighty intellect. The body is seen as separate from us.

But your body, mind, heart, and soul make up the single ecological system that is you.

There are similarities in how we relate to nature and the body in our culture. We seek to dominate and control nature, which feels unknown, unpredictable, and chaotic. We impose our will upon it, changing this or tinkering with that, not realizing that all pieces are interrelated, inextricably interwoven.

Reclaiming your wild body is to bring the body into consciousness, to value and honor its ancient wisdom.

The wild body follows its own cycles. It knows instinctually what to eat and when. It doesn’t need to rely on any external or contrived RULES. When we begin to listen to our bodies again, and come into true relationship with our bodies, the dominating and controlling mind can begin to relax. It no longer needs to see the body as the enemy.

Going beyond the strictly physical, the wild body can also sense when something is good or safe for us on a greater scale. In modern language, the wild body is our SPIDEY SENSE. The wild body is the part of us that knows when something feels off; it’s the part that tells us “don’t walk this way” or “turn off the TV”. It instinctually senses what is safe and nourishing and what is not.

But because we have detached from the wild body, we haven’t been initiated into this level of intuition. This leaves us naïve to the warning signs. How many times have you heard someone who was mugged or got into a dangerous situation say that they KNEW something wasn’t right, but they didn’t listen to that internal nudge?

AND/OR we end up creating dangerous scenarios in our mind that don’t really exist in reality! Our mind conjures up the image of something dangerous lurking at every corner because that is what we have ingested via the media or the news, leaving our body stuck in chronic fight or flight mode. This results in exhaustion and adrenal fatigue.

Once we have reclaimed the ancient knowledge of the body, this connection with our own wild rhythms and bodily intuition, that’s when the sensual, feminine can truly blossom.

Because much like a rose, she KNOWS when it is time to bloom and when it isn’t. She feels it in her very bones.

The first part of Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body is devoted to reconnecting with your body in a gentle and exploratory way.

Then before we move into understanding and honing our instincts and intuition, we dig into what has prevented us from doing that in the past. This is our cultural inheritance when it comes to the female body, and we must unearth this painful patriarchal baggage if we want to reclaim what is rightfully ours.

From that place of clarity, honesty, and deep strength, we allow the feminine to blossom open. To dream of how she desires to feel in her body, and to begin dancing into that woman now.

To register now and claim your free one-on-one coaching session (a $125 value), click here. If you have any questions about Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body or are unsure whether it would be a good fit for you, please email me at singingbirdhealth@gmail.com.

I am very passionate about this program because healing the mind/body, masculine/feminine split within ourselves is not only essential to our own wholeness and wellbeing, but is also the first step to bring about greater healing on the planet.

My Biggest Regret at Age 18…

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

While it may be a bit of a Hallmark holiday, any day devoted to LOVE gets the thumbs up in my book. Today I want to share a story not of romantic love, but a journey to self-love.

I have told this story a few different times and in a few different ways. A couple of days ago I remembered a specific incident from when I was eighteen years old and had to do an in-person interview while applying for college. It was at a hotel in Dallas and the woman interviewing me was young, maybe just out of college herself.

After a few of the standard questions, she asked me, “What is your biggest regret to date?”

I looked down at my hands resting carefully in my lap, trying to appear more calm and collected than I felt. I became suddenly conscious of how my clothes hung off the sharp corners of my gaunt body. My shoulders. My hipbones jutting out.

And for the first time in years, in the presence of this complete stranger, I gave an honest answer.

“That I let it get this bad,” I said quietly, lifting my eyes to meet her gaze.

What I meant was my eating disorder. Acknowledging and apologizing for the state of my body, which had been such a huge source of shame for the last two years. It was the emaciated elephant in the room that no one was comfortable talking about.

In that moment, answering that question and seeing the interviewer’s empathetic (if not slightly uncomfortable) smile, if I could have taken back the previous two years of my life and done it differently, I would have. In a heartbeat.

I lived in a world full of self-judgment and self-loathing; it covered my skin like a film. I carried it everywhere I went.

If you asked me that same question now though, sixteen years later, I would not give the same answer. It is amazing what time, maturity, and a shift in perspective will offer.

Though that time in my life was achingly painful, I no longer regret it. Nor do I carry the harsh judgment of myself, of that sensitive little girl who was just trying to get through the day.

It was hard, I admit. It downright sucked most of the time.

And yet, I wouldn’t trade it away.

Like metal forged in the fire, those years shaped me into the woman I am today. They have made me more empathetic and understanding. I KNOW in my bones what it is like to judge yourself, to look in the mirror and abhor what you see. To nitpick every little flaw. To feel no connection with your body.

When I see other women who carry the burden of body shame, whether it is because they are too thin or too heavy, their breasts aren’t as full and perky as they “should” be, they have too many wrinkles or cellulite on their thighs, I FEEL their pain. I remember how those negative thoughts and constant judgments zapped me of my life force. Dulled the simple joy of being alive because I was never fully anywhere.

I also know that these roots of self-doubt and despair grow deeper than the body. The body is the outward manifestation and as such, it is also the portal to deeper healing.

Much of my work with women around the reclamation of the feminine is about shifting their relationships with their bodies, because this has been MY JOURNEY. The way that I felt within my own skin kept me from shining my light into this world fully. I didn’t know what it meant to even BE in my own body. For so long, it felt foreign to me. Like dark matter.

If there is one message that I want to share with women, it is this: there is another way. You don’t need to wait for your body to be perfect or better for you to be joyful. Present. For you to feel the force of life itself running through your veins and say YES to it, instead of no. To sense the very aliveness within your cells.

My own dark times with my body and my emotions are what led me to create Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body. This is a program that aims at shifting the relationship that you have with your body, allowing you to experience it in a new way.

You may not detest your body as vehemently as I did. It may manifest as judgment or comparison. Frustration or distrust. Disconnection or simply forgetting that you have a body all together.

I am reminded of the Elie Wiesel quote: “The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”

That is why this program invites you to slow down and pay attention to your body. Remember that it is there. Be grateful for all it does. Come back home to it.

If you know that your relationship with your body doesn’t bring you joy, doesn’t feel nourishing, I would love to have you as a part of the upcoming Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body program. You can find the details here.

And if my program doesn’t resonate with you, there are many others out there. Find one that does resonate and take a risk on it. Don’t waste anymore of your one precious life on self-judgment, loathing, or indifference.

The time to come alive is now. The world needs you.

 

My Humbling Experience with Pretty Poison

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In her latest book Diana, Herself, one of my mentors Martha Beck writes about how important it is to stop ingesting poison. Now, I know this may sound fairly obvious, but many of us ingest poison on the daily without even realizing it. This is because unfortunately for us the poison that we tend to encounter doesn’t come with that signature skull and crossbones warning label.

Poison can be something that you are physically ingesting, like a certain food or alcohol, which is like poison to your system. Or it can be a depleting habit like watching the news before you go to bed, or checking Facebook first thing in the morning.

The first step in order to stop ingesting poison of all kinds is to come back into your body.

Feel. Notice. Pay attention.

Let’s stay with the food example, because it is clear and concrete. You may not know that you have gluten sensitivity; you may just think you feel off a good portion of the time. BUT, if you slowed down and listened to your body, she would tell you that something was amiss every time that you ate something gluten-heavy. You would get bloated after meals. Or super farty. Or feel mentally foggy.

But to have this realization you need to pay attention to your body and her signals. You need to become aware of what feels energizing and nourishing, and what feels draining and depleting.

The same is true for things that we ingest not physically, but with our minds and emotions. When you are in your body you can begin checking in with how you feel while you watch the news or spend time with a certain friend or set foot in your office first thing Monday morning.

All of these things may or may not be poisonous to you…only you can tell what is truly nourishing versus what isn’t.

Like the wise adage says, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”.

Now, the trickiest type of poison is what I call The Pretty Poison.

Pretty Poisons are disguised as things that are SUPPOSED to be really good for you. It could be broccoli, a certain certification or training program, or a spiritual practice.

These are all the things your rational mind tells you that you SHOULD be doing. That you have convinced yourself are good and even necessary.

With Pretty Poisons, your mind steamrolls over the wisdom of the body, and in the process often begins crushing the soul right along with it.

I experienced this a few weeks ago, and it was a rather humbling reminder of how easy it is to get stuck in the pretty poison trap.

I was watching a training webinar by someone that I respect, who is also in the feminine leadership arena. On paper, this event was right up my alley.

Except…

As the training continued, my energy waned. I grew tired and heavy. Doubts appeared in my mind where a calm confidence had resided a mere hour before. I thought to myself, “Could it be this training? Should I turn it off?” The wisdom of my body had clearly spoken.

And yet…

My rational mind stepped in and said, “No, keep watching. It’s just your cold. This is good information; you need this.”

So I kept watching. For roughly another 20 seconds until the feed cut out unexpectedly. This was a divine sign that I couldn’t ignore. I never went back to watch the rest of the training.

After the fact, I began to analyze why I felt that way watching this particular webinar. I realized there were certain marketing and sales tactics in play that I don’t agree with, but in actuality, none of that truly mattered. At another time in my life and professional career, I may have gotten a lot out of it.

But this time, I didn’t. It was doing more harm than good, and that’s really all I needed to know.

The lesson was loud and clear. I can listen to the wisdom of my body, and by extension my soul, even when my rational mind hasn’t caught up to the party quite yet.

I can trust that what feels depleting IS depleting, and isn’t somehow, miraculously, actually nourishing and that I am missing out on something.

Because poisons may come dressed up in pretty little packages, but deep down inside, they are still just poison.

Coming back into your body in our overly heady and fast-paced society is tricky; trusting and heeding your body wisdom and intuition is downright rebellious. Join the growing global sisterhood of Wild Women. My virtual group embodiment program Reclaim Your Wildly Feminine Body is now open for registration. Get all of the details and reserve your spot today by clicking here. When you register before February 22, you will also receive a free bonus one-on-one coaching session!