Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

This Question Drives Me Crazy…

Who are you without your story?

Ahh. A favorite question of life coaches everywhere. I have to be honest…it drives me crazy.

It didn’t always. I liked it for a while; it felt so freeing.

Who am I without my story?? I can be ANYONE! I am here in this body, in this place, and in this moment, anything is possible. My story is all that was holding me back!

And it’s not necessarily untrue; it’s just not the entire truth.

Stories that we tell ourselves can hold us back when we see ourselves solely as the main character, acting out a predestined script written by someone else. Especially when that script sucks and we believe bad things keep happening TO US. Then we allow past events to determine to our present and our future, as if change and evolution and growth are some kind of pipe dream.

In those instances our growth edge is claiming our part, taking back our creative power, and owning that we are responsible for parts of that story. Or at the very least the meaning that we make out of that story.

BUT, it can be easy to delude ourselves into the thinking we are the sole writer.

Yes, we get to write our stories.

But we are also written by our stories.

We are back at the paradoxical nature of wisdom. Our ever-evolving dance with life, where we are co-creators. At times taking the lead and other times being swept off our feet. Simultaneously in our creative power and surrendering to what is being created.

But the answer is not to shed our stories entirely. They give life context, texture, and meaning. Every scar carries a story…where we have been and what we have been through.

Stories tell the tale of a soul’s journey, both in external conquest and deep inner exploration. Without story, there can be no journey, and that robs us of some powerful soul medicine.

Story-less we are here and we are free, but that type of freedom is ungrounded.

It is a freedom that lacks embodiment because stories are not just mental constructs; they are imprinted in our cells.

Each and every experience in your life – trauma and joy alike – has left an imprint on your flesh, your bones, and your soul, regardless of what you “tell” yourself.

The reason it is easy to fall prey to ditching our stories is that it sounds and feels good. Lighter somehow. Blissfully familiar for many of us. It tastes of freedom because it tastes of transcendence. Our light and spirit obsessed society loves and longs for transcendence. It fits in nicely with our ideals of perfectionism, allowing us to transcend the whole, messy human experience.

So we jettison the stories in which we feel soft or dark or weak or heavy or contradictory, not wanting to take ownership of our wholeness. To own that on some level we are still the same person that we were when those stories were written.

The question then becomes not “who are you without your story?”, but rather, “who are you when you integrate all of your stories into the greater fabric of your being?” When all parts of you have a place and are not shamed into repression and external projection?

To reclaim your story is to reclaim your power, truth, and compassion, integrating the medicine of the past in the present and transforming it into nourishment for the future.

The Wise Woman Mentorship is not your average life coaching program. It is a sacred container that holds space for you to unearth your wildly feminine soul. To not just do what feels good or easy, but what feels TRUE. To honor your wholeness and the complexity of your being as a woman. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call now, visit my online scheduler or email me at singingbirdhealth@gmail.com.

Feel Like You Have Lost Your Path?

Embracing THE IN BETWEEN…

First, I have to come clean that the title/theme of this post was totally inspired by Stranger Things. Season 2?!? I mean, come on.

While not as terrifying as the upside down, the in between can also strike fear in the hearts of many. Myself included.

The in between is that liminal space. Metaphorical dusk. Where night has not quite fallen, but the day has come to a close. That magical time. The witching hour.

It is the bridge from one state of being to another.

No longer here and not yet there.

This is the creative feminine space. The dark and fertile space. The field of potentiality. The unknown.

It’s many beautiful and poetic sounding names allude to the inherent possibility of being in this space, but in reality it can also be really uncomfortable.

I will give you one example from my own life and from the women that I work with.

Many creative, spiritual, and/or wellness solopreneurs like myself shape their work around their own journey. You heal yourself and then take that knowledge out into the world to share with others. Your story itself becomes part of your sacred medicine.

But during that time, you also continue to evolve and grow and deepen.

Inevitably at some point, that thing you were teaching, the part of your story you were sharing that felt like your life’s work, no longer holds the same juice. (This happened to me with health coaching and speaking with people about food and body love.) There is less energy around it. Terms you used feel outdated. You develop new understanding. The medicine deepens.

And boom. You are thrust into the in between. You have outgrown the old, but you don’t have a solid handle on the new yet. You can sense it on the periphery; you feel it’s energy, but you can’t see it clearly yet.

The in between is like getting to the end of a path and finding that it opens up into a large meadow, and you have no idea where the new path picks up.

You have a few options.

You can always go back the way you came. Forget about finding the next leg of the path and opt to hold on to the old, the known. Our logical mind loves this because it has a firm grasp on it, and it will shoot a plethora of facts that support why this is the best idea. In our example of shifting or deepening your sacred work it may say things like “you built your whole business on this, you can’t change it now” or “you have taken so many courses to develop this knowledge, you don’t want that to be money down the drain” or “you have a whole library of books devoted to this topic, you better just stick with it”.

And while this path makes all the good, rational sense, a part of you feels like it’s dying when you think of choosing it. It feels like being slowly constricted to death. The old skin is too small to house the new awareness. And eventually the soul rebels. The body throws up red flags. Despite outward appearances, this old, trodden path suddenly reveals itself to be a lot less “safe”.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anaïs Nin

Another option is that you can begin frantically looking for where the path picks up again (key word: frantically). All you know is that you need to get out of this meadow, stat. You have to keep moving. You see what looks kind of like a path and you begin to follow it, but it peters out and you are surrounded by wilderness. You make your way back to the meadow, feeling discouraged and even more afraid. You try this over and over, with dozens of starts and stops, desperately searching for the one “right” path.

Eventually, you just pick one and go for it. Despite the fact that this way is full of brambles and thorns and obstacles impeding your progress, you push on. Determined to make it work because ANYTHING is better than being back in that big, open meadow.

Or, there is a third option. You greet the unexpected meadow with surprise, and maybe even a little glee or joy. You see it as an invitation to slow down. You close your eyes and bask in the sunshine on your face. You feel the breeze on your skin as it rustles the leaves of the trees at the meadow’s edge.

There is no fear or insecurity. No need to immediately pick a path, because even though you can’t yet see it, you KNOW the path is there.

Instead you relax. You lay down, surrendering your weight into the supportive energy of Mother Earth. You embrace this sacred pause on your journey with all of your heart, because you trust that the path will appear when it is time.

What would it feel like in your body if you could embrace the in between times in your life in this way?

Maybe it is because you have gotten to that point in your business where your old messaging feels stagnant or out of integrity, but the new messaging hasn’t solidified yet. Or perhaps it is a job or industry that is stifling, but you don’t know which other way to turn or what you really want to be doing. Or maybe multiple parts of your life feel out of alignment and stuck and it’s too overwhelming to even consider making a change.

What would it feel like if you trusted that it was safe for the old to die away, and that it was necessary in order for the new to be born?

What if you could relax into that in between space instead of running yourself ragged in circles trying to find your way out?

The in between is the witching hour. The magical, liminal space. Where the alchemy happens. It is a crucible of inner transformation that leads to outer manifestation…but only if you allow it to.

The Wise Woman Mentorship holds safe and sacred space for you to enter the crucible. To question and unravel the old – old thought patterns, habits, beliefs, and ways of being – and to make space for the new to emerge. To unearth and embody your wildly feminine soul. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call now, visit my online scheduler or email me at singinbirdhealth@gmail.com.

 

 

I’m Embarking on a Sacred Experiment…

Wanna join me?!? 

I am embarking on what I am calling a sacred experiment, and I would like to invite you along.

As women, we are cyclical beings, like Mother Nature and the moon.

Every month we cycle from our own dark moon, waxing to fullness, and then waning again. Birth, death, and rebirth, every 28 days or so.

This rhythm mimics our life cycle as well, from girlhood to young Maiden to Mother and Queen and finally to Wise Woman and Crone.

But we live in a modern and masculine world, where we have lost touch with our feminine instinctual nature. That part of us that is primal, in sync with the world around us.

We have attempted to wedge our cyclical selves into a linear culture, expecting that we will show up the same, day in and day out.

But as every woman knows, try as we might, that just isn’t the case.

Some days we are super extroverted, ready to take on the world, excited to go meet friends. Other days all we want is to curl up in a blanket and watch Netflix all day with some takeout. Our energy waxes and wanes. Our moods shift (and let’s not buy into that being a “bad” thing). Our bodies feel different.

And what energizes us, what we desire, becomes a moving target as well.

Because we have become detached from our feminine nature, it’s easy to find this frustrating.

The days when I cannot seem to write a freakin’ sentence that makes coherent sense, much less has that poetic ring that I love, drive me crazy. Often I find myself pushing through, trying to create even though it clearly feels like the creative well has run dry.

There are times when I cannot wait to shower what feels like ENDLESS love and care and energy on the people in my life. And other times where people (and creatures) annoy the shit out of me and I just want to retreat and sit in a quiet, dark room.

Because we live in this masculine, linear society, we have made our feminine nature out to be WRONG. We fight against it. We do everything in our power to OVERCOME it. And as a result, our bodies rebel. Periods become more painful. “PMS” unbearable (I use quotes there because once again this part of our cycle that is often misunderstood is labeled as a “syndrome”, a medical malady to be overcome).

But what if there is another way? What if instead of fighting our feminine, moon-like nature, we aligned with it? Respected it? Approached it with great love and reverence?

THAT is my experiment. So often, we are out in the world learning about all things EXTERNAL to us. What if, instead, we directed that focus back inside? What if we become as curious about our bodies, our nature, and ourselves as we are about politics, sports, and pop culture?

For the next three months I will be tracking my cycle day to day. Charting how I feel, what I desire, physical symptoms, where my energy wants to go, etc.

Instead of picking up a book to tell me about my cycle, I will become curious about my own body. I will pay attention. I will see how it feels when I align with my nature and my body’s cycles, and when I don’t.

At the end of the three months, I will go back and look for clues and patterns. To see if there is a natural rhythm to my writing, my creative output, my desire to see friends, go to networking events, make extra time for soul nourishment, and give more room to my instinctual self.

From that place I will begin to align my schedule, as much as possible, to my findings. To what my strengths are at specific times during my cycle. Is it a good time to take an important meeting? Also knowing my own cycles of creative ebb and flow, times of production and times of fallow, will allow me to relax and trust myself at even deeper level.

I want to invite you along on this sacred journey. Tomorrow I am releasing the Reclaim Your Sacred Ground workbook in my online Facebook community, Wildly Feminine and Free. So if you want to participate and are not already a member, click here to join today. If you are not on Facebook and still would like to participate, just send me a reply to this email.

Also, if you are past the bleeding time in your life, you can still participate! Instead of tracking your own cycle, track the cycle of the moon and notice the shifts that occur within you.

Then, after our three-month sacred experience is complete I will host a live call or Zoom where we can each speak about and reflect on what we have uncovered. We will also come together to explore how we can take what we have noticed about our feminine nature and apply it in our lives to live in greater alignment.

Join the Wildly Feminine & Free community to access the Reclaim Your Sacred Ground workbook. I will also be sharing some of my own noticings there on a weekly basis.

 

I am not very dark or mysterious…

I write frequently about navigating big feelings, embracing the Dark Goddess, and dancing with mystery. I love shadow work. I have always been enticed by all that is dark and mysterious. Sultry. Intense. Witchy. (See picture below for evidence.)

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But one thing became very clear to me while I was at the Qoya intensive this fall…

I am not particularly dark or mysterious. Of course I have some darkness and mystery, as we all have a bit of everything within us, but when others spend time with me what they see and appreciate most about me is actually my light. My goofiness. My energy and zest for life. My spunk.

Hearing what others saw in me, something within me clicked.

I saw how I have been stuck in a “grass is always greener” situation, wanting more of what I am not and not fully appreciating who I am.

Teaching Qoya over the past couple of months I encountered several instances where I feared that I was “too much” when I let my full self out. Too energetic. Too upbeat. Too downright dorky.

I was afraid that my energy and optimism bowled people over.

But it doesn’t. It’s actually one of my core strengths, and I have been reining it in. Keeping it carefully contained so as to not be “too much”.

Perhaps you can relate?

Do you have a tendency to believe that you “should” be something other than how you are? More outspoken? Less outspoken? More serious? Less serious? Bigger, smaller, lighter, darker, softer, stronger, you name it?

It is something that many of us struggle with and sometimes we can’t even see where we are hemming ourselves in.

I didn’t see how I was dimming my light by playing in the shadows, how it had become a convenient way to downplay my innate strengths and stay relatively hidden.

But I am coming into a time in my life where I am being guided to claim my gifts and my strengths and what I am here to offer more fully. I feel like many of us are hearing a similar call. That means letting our whole, wild selves come to the party. It means actually claiming our power and standing firm in our essence of Self.

But owning and standing in our strengths can feel so uncomfortable. Supremely vulnerable. Personally, it makes me want to squirm in my seat.

That is precisely why I know that it is something that I need to do.

I tried to wiggle out of sharing this, always having some excuse or other article that needed priority.

But how can I stand for other women fully owning and embodying their gifts if I am not willing to fully claim my own?

So with that said, here are a few of my top strengths…

I am intuitive and I read people and situations quickly. I am good at getting to the heart of the matter, and am comfortable diving to the depths.

I am highly optimistic. I may rage against the patriarchy from time to time (okay quite often), but it is because I have a strong belief that we, individually and collectively, can do better. I know we can do better.

I love to learn.

I am curious about damn near everything (except for really practical things…like how to change a tire or invest in the stock market, there I unfortunately couldn’t care less…)

I am energetic.

I am wickedly good at animal noises. My dolphin sounded a bit like a sick goat for a while, but I am happy to report that Flipper is back in full force.

I love making people laugh (especially with said animal noises).

I love to play and have fun.

I am great at listening and holding space for others.

I am a good writer. I love to communicate the underlying truth, that deep inner sense and experience, through words.

I am good at seeing the best in people and guiding them to embody their gifts.

I search for the Truth with a capital T, and seek meaning, richness, and depth in all that life has to offer.

I see connections between things. I LOVE that no matter how zigzaggy a coaching session may be, or how many disparate topics we delve into, it almost always comes back around or has a central theme. I don’t know what it is about that, but it’s SO SATISFYING.

There we have it. A few of my strengths.

I wrote and shared this mainly for myself, because it was something I clearly needed, but I also want to offer it to you.

What are your strengths?

Journal honestly about them. Ask people in your life what they see in you and love about you. Ask those close to you what one word pops up when they think of you. I promise, it will be enlightening.

Are you letting those strengths fully shine, in every area of your life? Where are you holding back, and more importantly, WHY?

If you want support in this area, I am here for you. Like I said, one of my superpowers is seeing people. Hearing them. Getting to truly know them so I can reflect their light (and their dark) back to them. I believe that each and every one of us has this special magic that only we can offer to the world, but we LOCK IT UP. We tuck it away.

It is time to RELEASE IT. EMBODY IT. BE IT. LIVE IT into existence in the world.