Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

Are You Allowed to be Discontent?

You get this feeling that there is something in your life that is not right. It’s like an itch that you can’t scratch because you can’t quite reach it, or a yearning for something deeper that you can’t put your finger on.

Then you look around and see how much you have to be grateful for. How good your life is.

And you feel like an asshole for not being content.

Why can’t you just be happy with what you have?

Why is this not enough? It seems like it is enough for others. There must be something wrong with you. Perhaps it will never be enough. Maybe the key is just to focus on the good stuff, think positive thoughts, and get your head on straight.

This is the seesaw that many women go on. This yearning, this ache, followed by the immediate negation of the ache. A belief that the ache isn’t rationally justifiable, and therefore isn’t real. Isn’t worthy of your time and curiosity.

But what if you can be grateful for all that you have in your life, conscious of the privilege that you carry, and also honor your yearning for something more?

What if you can give thanks, while simultaneously creating change?

Because the truth is that the ache won’t go away simply because you shift your focus. It may momentarily, but it will always come back because the discipline of your mind cannot overpower the truth of your soul.

In fact, the more you ignore it or try to will it away, the louder it will get. It will go to greater and greater lengths to draw your attention to that which you wished you didn’t have to see.

Acknowledging the ache, the nagging sense of discontentment, doesn’t mean that you must fall into a pit of despair and forget all the good things in your life.

It means that you are ready to be honest with yourself about all parts of your experience.

Reclaim Your Wild Feminine is a sacred nine-month journey that invites you to follow the voice of your soul. To leave behind the safety of the suburbs and venture towards the forest of your being. To give space and voice to that ache, to dive into the longing, and listen to what it has to teach you. To unearth where it is guiding you.

For more information about this rite of passage into conscious womanhood, click here.

Are you running away or moving towards?

Oftentimes the wild feminine journey begins with a desire to flee, to escape, to run away. A deep-rooted and yet ambiguous sense that this isn’t it.

It’s not the job that we want. Not the place we want to live or the relationship we want to be in.

A feeling we can’t shake that this isn’t the person we wanted to be.

This leaves us in a predicament because while we know this isn’t exactly the life we want to be living, we often don’t know what that life even looks like. We can’t make out what it is that we want to move toward, and so we feel stuck.

We search high and low for that which will spark our soul fire once again. We may get a fleeting taste of it here and there, but we can’t seem to grab hold of it long enough for it to solidify into something tangible.

Of course the reason we can’t grab hold of it is because our hands are already full – full of responsibilities, to do lists, people to take care of, projects to manage – yet we are terrified to let anything go.

What we really want, deep down, is for life to make us a guarantee.

A guarantee that if we lay down some of what we have been carrying, if we shed our old skin, that there is something worthwhile waiting for us on the other side. Something better. We want to see proof of it!

But that’s not how it works.

So while waiting for that elusive sense of certainty, we get stuck straddling the threshold…afraid to step fully into the unknown of who and what we are meant to become, and also unable to feel content with where we are now.

And I know from experience that this is a painful and frustrating place to find yourself.

The wild feminine journey, this sacred reclamation of your wholeness, requires tremendous trust.

It asks that you let go not only of that which doesn’t resonate in your external life, but more importantly, it demands that you release those internal patterns of behavior and ways of being that don’t truly belong to you. The ones that you learned, that are adapted, created, and crafted.

They may once have helped you to survive – to fit in, to please, to achieve – but now they have become like armoring that you have outgrown. The protection they offer comes at the steep price of keeping you small and caged in.

We cannot straddle this threshold and move forward simultaneously. While we dance between these two spaces, while we remain unwilling to let the old fall away, the new will not fully reveal itself.

We have to leave our old notions of such safety and certainty behind; this journey requires risk-taking. A stepping into the unknown.

For many of us who find ourselves in this place, the old version of who we are was overly concerned with other people. How our actions looked to them. What they expected of us. Who they wanted and needed us to be.

We crafted our persona and sense of self around this nexus of external validation.

And while that persona served us in some ways, it also prevented us from diving inward to discover the essence of who we truly are and bring HER forward.

So naturally, there will be a time when we solely know what it is that we are moving away from. Because we don’t actually know ourselves!

We need find the truth of our being before what we are moving toward can be revealed.

And I am not going to lie, in our goal-oriented society this seeming “lack of direction” can be wildly uncomfortable. We feel malleable. Unformed. Entirely in the dark.

But this is not a place to fear, for it is the darkness of the womb.

And it is a place that each of us must enter and explore before we can experience our own rebirth.

Before we can rise fully into the women that we were always meant to become.

This is a taste of the sacred nine-month journey that we will undertake in Reclaim Your Wild Feminine. A journey to unearth your wild authenticity – who you are, what you value, what you stand for – and the courage to EMBODY that woman in your life.

It is a journey of true reclamation and remembering, as in re-membering. Putting yourself back together as the whole woman that you are. Shed the false persona that no longer serves you, come home to the sacred wisdom of your body, find the truth of your experience, learn to be with and express ALL your feelings in a nourishing way, and rise fully rooted in who you are. To learn more about this powerful and sacred container of transformation, this ancient rite of passage, visit my website here.

Sometimes Change Takes Longer Than Expected…

It has been a bit quiet over in this neck of the woods the past few weeks, and I wanted to drop you a note and say hello! While it has appeared quieter on the outside, much has been transpiring on the inside.

Sometimes things take longer than we THINK they will… If the eclipse/retrograde season taught me anything, it was that sometimes I need to surrender my best-laid plans and allow things to unfold in their own timing. To resist the flow of life is futile…and frustrating.

I had all these plans of launching a new group program for pleasers this month, but the ground of it kept shifting beneath my feet.

It was as if the universe was saying, “Take a step back. Stop forcing it.”

This whole surrender thing always sounds great in my head, but in practice it’s a whole lot harder!

But what I realize now is that I am not just creating a new program; I am rededicating myself to my business and in a way, creating it from the ground up. Taking time to put in the structure that I never did before to make it sustainable. Getting clear on how the pieces of my work fit together to create the whole.

With that said, as that process continues behind the scenes, the Wise Woman Mentorship is still open for enrollment! This intimate one-on-one mentorship is designed for women who are ready to claim their feminine power. If you are feeling called to dig deep and discover who you are underneath the layers of who you were taught to be, and courageously live that authentic woman into being in your life and business, I would love to speak with you. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call here.

The Wise Woman Mentorship is made up of a minimum of six hour-long sessions over the course of three months, though many women continue beyond this initial commitment. This program is flexible and highly tailored to fit your unique and individual needs, with intuitive and soulful sessions to guide you back to your own internal wisdom and the unfolding of who you are meant to be.

FINAL EPISODE of Pleasing 101

Y’all…it’s WEEK 10 of People Pleasing 101. Can you believe it? That makes this week the FINAL EPISODE. I truly hope that this series has been beneficial to you and helped you to better see, understand, and name the behavior of your inner pleaser.

I left a juicy topic for last…CHAMELEON SYNDROME. Are you a slightly different version of yourself depending who you are with? Do you often feel like a chameleon, like you morph and blend in without even trying? Then this video is for you!

Your Wildly Authentic Life, a intensive program designed specifically for chronic pleasers who are looking to shift this behavior, is launching this fall. As I am still putting the final details on it, it is not available for registration quite yet. BUT July is the last month to get in on the Wise Woman Mentorship in its existing structure, format, and pricing. So if you have been curious about it, jump in there now and schedule your Discovery Call. Come this fall, I am launching a new website with new service offerings so stay tuned for that!!

The Shadowy Underbelly of Pleasing

In this week’s episode of People Pleasing 101 I am sharing one of the common SHADOWS of pleasing, as the title of this video alludes to. We all have a breaking point, and pleasers are no exception. When you spend the majority of your life saying yes when you want to say no, dishonoring your truth, and allowing others to trample all over your boundaries there will come a time when you HAD ENOUGH. Then you REACT and LASH OUT. It is like the straw that breaks the camel’s back and it’s no good for anyone involved.

The GREAT THING is, that it doesn’t have to be this way and these age-old patterns can shift to make way for NEW ways of being and relating. Your Wildly Authentic Life is a 4-week group intensive that launches this fall for women who are CHRONIC pleasers. Not only will you discover who you are beneath the pleasing, but you will learn to say no with kindness, honor your boundaries with compassion, and speak your truth without feeling like you are hungering for conflict. Registration goes live in a few weeks!! To be the first to be notified, register your email here. Till next week, which will be our FINAL installment of People Pleasing 101. If you have missed any of the videos, you can find them here.

People Pleasing and Over-Giving

Hey y’all! Can you believe it is already WEEK 8 of People Pleasing 101?!? If you have missed any of the previous episodes in this 10-week video series, visit the blog to view them and to see if YOU have these people pleasing tendencies in your own life.

This week the topic is pleasing and OVER-GIVING. What is over-giving? How does it differ from the good ol’ fashioned, healthy form of giving, and just what makes it so problematic anyway? These are a few of the questions that I address in this video, along with a couple of takeaway questions for you to ponder.

Your Wildly Authentic Life is a group intensive that I am launching this fall to help you get to know your pleaser, discover who you are underneath that mask, and courageously begin to live YOUR wildly authentic life. More details will be forthcoming about this program in the coming weeks. To get them as they go live and to be notified when registration is open, make sure that you sign up here.

xoxo!

Pleasing and the Fear of Conflict

In this week’s episode (week 7!) I am talking about one of the underlying fears that causes many of the other pleasing behaviors that we have been talking about. And that is the FEAR OF CONFLICT and the desire to avoid any type of awkward conversation. Fear of conflict and the inability to have difficult conversations leaves things unresolved, causes unnecessary drama, and takes up A LOT of energetic space.

This fall I am launching Your Wildly Authentic Life, a 4-week intensive especially for pleasers so that you can discover and courageously embody who you are beneath the pleasing! Yes, I renamed this program AND I shortened it so that you can begin putting these tools to use in your life RIGHT NOW.

In this program you will…

Dig in to discover who you are and what a wildly authentic life means to you.

Take responsibility for your choices and learn to communicate them with confidence and compassion.

Let go of what stops you from showing up fully and shining your light.

Free yourself of the false constraints of pleasing that leave you feeling caged in.

Live the life that lights you up from the inside out.

Registration will open for Your Wildly Authentic Life in a few weeks. To be kept up to date on when this program goes live, click here to register your email.

Woman…it is time to live out loud.

 

People Pleasing and Speaking Your Truth

In this episode of People Pleasing 101, my 10-week video series where I share some of the most common traits and characteristics of what it means to be a pleaser, I share why SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH and sharing your opinion can be so dang difficult if you are a pleaser. AND why staying silent is not your best option.

If this resonates with you and you know that you have a hard time speaking your truth, register your email here to be the first to get information on new programs that I have launching this fall that are especially for pleasers, empaths, and all around good-hearted women to help you embody the woman you are meant to be and stand for what you believe in.

People Pleasing 101…Part 5!

People Pleasing 101 is a 10-week video series where I am sharing some of the MOST COMMON characteristics and symptoms of people pleasing so that YOU can identify where you have this pattern in your own life. This week, I am talking about one of the CORNERSTONES of pleasing: relying on EXTERNAL VALIDATION.

External validation can take many forms (wanting to be liked, respected, understood, etc.), but at its core it means that you care MORE about how others see you than how you see yourself. Your sense of identity and worth gets easily wrapped up in the expectations of those around you. This is exhausting and detrimental for SO MANY REASONS, which I share in the video.

If you see yourself in these videos, know that you suffer from chronic pleasing, AND you are ready to take off that mask FOR GOOD to find out who you really are, Pleasing to Powerful is my four month program that is launching this September. Pleasing to Powerful combines the power, intimacy, and support of one-on-one coaching with the healing and empowerment of sisterhood. To be the first to get information on this program, make sure that you have registered your email here!

People Pleasing 101…Part 4!

People Pleasing 101 is my 10-week video series where I share some of THE MOST COMMON traits and characteristics of being a pleaser so that you can identify this pattern in your own life! This week our topic is ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Whether in an interview negotiating your salary, asking for a raise at work, or asking for new business as an entrepreneur, when you are a people pleaser asking for what you want can be VERY difficult. This week we are looking at this specifically through the lens of how this can affect your most intimate relationships when you are unable to share your desires with your partner.

To access the playlist for the movement portion via Spotify, click here. If you do not have Spotify, I have included the songs I recommend dancing to for each portion below. Like we say in Qoya, there is no way that you can do this wrong. Be willing to put aside any fears that you do not know how to move your own body. I also recommend that you briefly journal about what it felt like to dance with each of these songs after you have completed the movement portion. Did it feel familiar? Did it trigger any memories or associations? What did you feel and sense as you moved?

  1. Shadow on the Wall by Brandi Carlile – Dance with what it feels like when you cannot ask for what you want, when you swallow your desires to avoid rocking the boat
  2. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde – Dance with the contrast of your previous experience by exploring what it feels like when you ALWAYS have to get your way
  3. Born this Way by Lady Gaga – CRAZY SHAKING FREE DANCE!! Let go of the physical sensations that may have come up during the last two songs by shaking them out of your body! Dance with what it feels like to BE YOURSELF, asking for what you want and giving others the freedom to do the same.

To set yourself FREE, you must be willing to break out of the self-imposed cage that is people pleasing. If you want to be the first to know when my new program designed specifically for women who suffer from chronic people pleasing officially launches this fall, sign up here.