Singing Bird Holistic Health Coaching

Why Controlling Your Way To Peace Doesn’t Work

There is a false belief that is pervasive, and debilitating, among women.

I know of its negative impact personally as I lived under its spell for many, many years of my life. And it still sneaks in there on occasion.

It is masked as a desire. A desire for agency. To have a say in one’s own life and destiny. It sounds great and empowering on the surface.

Or it is clothed in the concept of feminine independence. I don’t need anyone else; I will just do it myself.

Underneath it is a need for control.

To be the puppet master. To hold all the strings.

Rogue strings cannot be handled. Strings held by another, whether that person is your significant other or a parent or a friend, are deviations and sources of endless stress.

Because what if they do it wrong?!?

So you try to take hold of their strings as well. And as long as everyone and everything behaves precisely the way that you deem appropriate, all is okay.

But, when they don’t (which they inevitably won’t and shouldn’t as they have their own lives to live), it all comes crumbling down like a house of cards.

This whole fragile system is built around the belief that control mitigates anxiety.

We feel anxious when things are out of our control, so we try to grasp on to more and more, believing it will eventually lead us to a sense of peace and contentment and trust.

But that day just never seems to come! It’s always around the corner. There is always that one damn tiny little thing that wants to throw a wrench in the works.

That is because the whole shebang is a fallacy.

Needing to control everyone and everything, or believing that only you know how to do it right or best, doesn’t alleviate your anxiety; it increases it.

The more that is within your control, the more stress you feel. The more balls there are in the air for you to juggle, the more likely they all will come tumbling down eventually. Somewhere inside you already know this. And therefore you NEVER GET TO RELAX.

You can never take your eye off the prize.

It’s a self-perpetuating system that continues to build up greater and greater anxiety until you hit a breaking point. Which we all do at some point. Usually over the smallest of things. Or our bodies break down in illness. Or we get hurt.

And are thereby forced to let go. To realize our limitations. To allow others their own responsibility.

Ideally though, we don’t let it get to that point.

Instead we shift out of control and into trust (which actually DOES mitigate anxiety).

We move from insecure energy and concern into confidence.

In short, we begin to unearth and embody our inner Wise Woman. We have agency without the grasping. We know where we end and others begin. We integrate our insecure Little Girl into the more solid being of our Mature Woman.

Helping women to bridge this shift in energy is one of the cornerstones of my work. We must break through old patterns of control and pleasing in order to unearth our truth; and then we must create the courage and trust to embody this truth in our lives.

This is the source of grounded freedom that so many of us seek. But when we try to find it through control, we are looking in the wrong place.

I am currently accepting a handful of new clients in my intimate, one-on-one Wise Woman Mentorship. To see if this form of coaching would be a good fit for you, visit my online scheduler and set up your free 30-minute consultation call now.

Give Yourself This Gift.

This starts with a random story, but I swear it has a point, so keep reading!

A few nights ago I had this recollection from one of my first Qoya classes. Somehow the topics of consciousness and matter came into the conversation.

See, up until that point my research and dipping my toe into the world of masculine/feminine energy had taught me that masculine = consciousness while feminine = matter. I even remember there was a handy little checklist. Sun or moon. Mind or body. Consciousness or matter. One or the other.

And that resonated for a while. Until this Qoya class when my teacher spoke about the consciousness OF matter and the consciousness IN matter. What? I had no idea what that meant. Consciousness and matter were two entirely different and separated things.

Or weren’t they…?

Back then, a whopping three years ago, I was still pretty firmly ingrained in what I now I call black and white, either/or thinking. The masculine way. It was neat. Everything had its little box and as long as it stayed where it belonged, I was happy.

This one random, esoteric conversation was really heralding a new way of looking at the world. Now I know what is meant by consciousness in matter. That not only the human mind is conscious. The body has its own consciousness. So does that tree over there, and the entire planet we call home.

Why do I feel called to share this little personal musing with you?

Because there is something important here, and that is the continuous evolution and deepening of thought, understanding, and experience. And the ACCEPTANCE thereof.

Allowing yourself the space to develop and grow.

Allowing your understanding of what is true to shift and morph over time.

I read some of the articles that I wrote years ago and CRINGE, because I didn’t see then what I see now. I didn’t know then what I know now.

And I am certain the same will hold true a few years from now when I look back to what I am currently writing.

Sometimes I have to fight back the urge to delete things I wrote back then. But then I rob myself of the gift of evolution, and the grace of accepting my own growth.

When we rob ourselves of that, we also rob others of the ability to grow and change.

This is really why I wanted to share this story with you, because I feel like it is extremely important, especially now as people are beginning to see what for so long they remained blind to.

Sometimes this feels convenient or hypocritical or like it’s just jumping on the popular bandwagon. And maybe sometimes it is.

But it may also be that we all become more conscious in our own time. Our understanding and our empathy continue to shift and deepen. In the words of Maya Angelou:

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

When you accept your growth and evolution, and all the missteps and fumbling for truth which that often entails, and choose to be compassionate and understanding with yourself regardless…that then becomes a gift of grace that you can offer others as well.

Do you have a space in your life where you can share how you feel and what is true for you in the moment, unfiltered, without fear or judgment? Where you can explore what is you and what is not within a gentle, sacred container?

The Wise Woman Mentorship is meant to hold you in your growth. In your evolution. In your death and rebirth. So that you can reclaim and re-member the missing parts of yourself and integrate them into your Wise Woman in a supportive and sacred environment.

I am currently taking on a handful of one-on-one clients for this intimate mentorship this winter. If you are tired of skimming the surface of life, and ready to live in a way that is rich, deep, and true, I would love to speak with you. To schedule your initial 30-minute consultation call, visit my online scheduler.

 

What Do You Not Want To See?

Are you living your life?

This may sound like a strange question.

“Of course I am living my life. What else would I be doing?”

But I know from personal experience that there have been times where I haven’t been living my life or truly living my life.

There was a time when I suddenly snapped to, as if I had been sleepwalking for a long time and just woken up. I looked around and wondered where I was and how I had gotten there. It was so far from the life that I had imagined when I was younger.

The thing is, while the awakening can happen quite suddenly, the way that things got to that place usually happens gradually, over time. Little concessions here. “Eh, it’s good enough” over there.

It happens so gradually in fact, that we don’t notice that we are moving further from our soul desires and purpose, rather than towards them. We normalize things. We chalk them up to being adult responsibilities. We say that we are realistic when really we are settling.

Things were never meant to turn out the way we dreamed anyway, were they?

So we stay in dead end relationships. Draining jobs. We spend our time and our energy on people and things that don’t nourish us, at least not on any deep level.

Then we numb ourselves by drinking or eating or watching TV or working or exercising.

We do anything to avoid facing the searing truth of our lives.

It would hurt too much, we say. There is too much to change, it’s overwhelming, I don’t know where to start, we say.

It’s too late anyway, we say.

We go on living our half-life, numb, and sleepwalking, trying to make the best of it.

I am here to tell you that we need to do better.

Individually and collectively.

For ourselves. For our families. For our entire culture.

It’s time that we wake up. Open our eyes to everything that we have been too afraid to look at. Feel the pain that comes along with that. And realize that it won’t kill us. It won’t be the end.

It’s the beginning.

That is when you can start to question what you have been taught life is. What it means to be “responsible”, what it means to be an adult, what it means to be a freaking human.

Look at all those beliefs with fresh perspective, with beginner’s eyes.

Are they empowering? Are they nourishing?

Are they even true?

The rise of the feminine energy is the rise of love and of life itself. Of tapping into the current of the divine that exists in this very moment and every moment. In the feeling of the sun on your face, and the sounds of the birds in the trees. In the pulse of your heartbeat and your blood as it moves through your body.

This is the awakening of the conscious feminine.

This is how we reclaim our lives. This is how we save our beautiful planet.

Consider this your kick in the ass. With love.

You are courageous enough to look at your life with honesty. To lift the rug and dare to see what lurks underneath, knowing that the courage to look and to see is a crucial part of healing. Of coming home to yourself. Of unearthing, embodying, and expressing your truth. Of exploring who you are and where you have made exceptions to that and why.

The Wise Woman Mentorship is your sacred container; the crucible which holds space for the transformation to occur. We go deep, we leave no stone unturned, but we tread gently. Unraveling ourselves to come face to face with our truth is serious business, but we allow it to be playful. We encourage tears and laughter, often simultaneously. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call, visit my online scheduler or send me an email at singingbirdhealth@gmail.com.

For My Goal-Oriented Gals…and Dudes

The Way In Which We Create Is Part of the Creation.

This is a piece of wisdom that came through as I sat with the questions for the Winter Solstice Soulful Strategy Workshop.

The way in which we create is part of the creation.

Let me give you some context.

As I felt into my sacred work for the first three months of 2018 what I felt most strongly all had to do with ME. Not so much what I needed to do with others.

It was about getting grounded, being outside in wild places more often, continuing to explore the feminine cycles of life, taking better care of myself.

I was a little perplexed by this wisdom. I thought I would get a hard and fast plan. Run this workshop. Focus on x, y, and z. Go here. Do this.

At first I couldn’t see how this was aligned with my larger visions for my sacred work in the coming year.

BUT…the way in which we create is a part of the creation.

I don’t think I am alone when I say that I often default to creating from my mind, thinking things through, pondering what I “should” be doing rather than simply listening to the more gentle rhythm of my body and heart.

My creations were often created a bit frantically as well because there was this belief that otherwise they wouldn’t get done. Strike while the iron is hot!!

This feels so…different.

There is no frantic energy because there is no FEAR. Fear is what dictates the forced fast and furious creation approach. Fear that it won’t get done. That inspiration will run dry. That life circumstances will prevent us from creating in the future. It says, “You must do everything now…immediately!!”

This new approach isn’t grounded in fear; it is grounded in trust.

It realizes that the way in which we create, the energy in which we create, will be infused into the creation itself.

It realizes that through the process of creation, we cannot separate ourselves from that which we are creating. Much like a baby in its mother’s womb, until birth mother and baby are inextricably intertwined. The wellbeing of the mother IS the wellbeing of the baby.

And it trusts the wisdom and pacing of the body, heart, and soul. It knows that what is meant to come through into form will come through into form. In the time that it is meant to.

When we can sink into and trust this knowing, there is no rushing or grasping or forcing.

There is more savoring and surrendering and allowing.

As you set forth into 2018 with your goals and intentions remember…

The way in which you create is part of the creation.

Is the process of creating, going after your goals and intentions, joyful for you? Is it sweet and nurturing? Is it inspiring and enlivening? Do you trust its natural rhythm and pacing?

If not, what would the process FEEL LIKE in your body if it were all of these things? What could you create if you knew that you are a sacred part of the creation, and everything stemmed forth sustainably from within you?

Woman, only you can come home to yourself. To know yourself, your feelings, and your truth moment to moment. Living the life that you desire and are meant to live requires active co-creation. It asks that you do your part by digging within to find who you are, peeling back conditioning, and leaning into trust of that which inspires your curiosity.

The Wise Woman Mentorship is a sacred space for us to explore your truth. To unravel and see what is truly you versus who you have learned to be. It is an intimate, one-on-one mentorship to guide you to embody your Wise Woman. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call, visit my online scheduler or reply to this email.

 

Being Authentic in Relationships That Matter Most

The work that I do in the world, in my one-on-one mentorships, Qoya classes and women’s circles, is devoted to women unearthing and expressing their truth.

Exploring what is true for you in that moment, and having the courage to voice that to another.

That is why Qoya is so different from any other movement practice; it’s not JUST a movement practice. There is community sharing built into every class so that you can experience what it feels like to be on both the giving and receiving end of raw, vulnerable truth.

Some days that truth is joyful, expansive, hopeful, and confident. Other days it is more exhausted, sad, heavy, and tender.

The gift is in being able to voice and give expression to both. AND in receiving and holding space for another woman who is willing to do the same.

Having spaces where this level of connection, intimacy, and honesty is the norm (and not only accepted, but encouraged) is HUGELY nourishing.

BUT, the end goal is not to drop our authenticity and put our masks back on when we are done with a session or step out of a Qoya class into our regular lives.

THAT is when the real growth begins. In how we interact with the real world.

The Qoya classes and coaching sessions are practice grounds, where we get to flex our vulnerability and truth muscles, where we get to show up as we are, and see what that feels like.

But my desire as a mentor, space holder, and teacher is not that you only have this experience for an hour or two a week with me or a group of strangers.

My desire is that you spend time excavating your own soul truth, practice what it feels like to share that with another, and then take what you learn into all of your other communities and relationships!

The power of sisterhood and vulnerability should not be relegated to your women’s circle or your Qoya class or your coaching session.

It is meant to bleed into the relationship that you have with your partner, with your friends, with your parents and children. My desire is that you learn to know yourself and how you feel and what is true for you moment to moment, and then have the courage to let another see that.

The courage to let another human being know you. The real you.

Especially those people in your life that matter the most.

And by having the courage to let yourself be seen and known, you become the leader. You set the example and have an impact on every single person in your life, every person that you touch.

That is where the real impact begins.

That is why all of this is so important.

The FIRST STEP though, is to dig within. To find what is true for you. To peel off old conditioning, patriarchal patterning, and people pleasing to get to your real essence. That is a crucial part of the sacred work that we do in my Wise Woman Mentorships.

We step back from the lies that we tell ourselves to stay comfortable and to keep others comfortable. We dare to utter the word that is true.

2018 is the year to sink into yourself and rise into sovereignty. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Session to see if the Wise Woman Mentorship would be a good fit for you, visit my online scheduler or simply reply to this email.

Happy New Year!

Some End of Year Thoughts…

Thank you for being here. For coming to my blog, for taking the time to read my words and musings, and for being on this journey with me.

For those who are relatively new, thank you for joining this community devoted to each of us unearthing, embodying, and expressing our deepest soul truths. I am so glad that you are here.

For those of you who have been here for the long haul, thank you for witnessing the various twists and turns of my journey since starting this blog. From my first forays into writing about food, running detoxes, and teaching why pasture-raised eggs are just far superior to cage-free ones, to now, when I feel much more grounded in my own voice and what I am here to do. Rooted in what truly calls to my heart and soul.

It is the women in my life – those of you I am honored to work with one-on-one, those that come to Qoya classes, those of you who read the newsletter or are a part of my facebook group, those I am blessed to call my dear friends, and of course my mama – who inspire me on a daily basis.

I have been so blessed throughout all of my life to be surrounded by a community of amazing women.

Conscious women. Heart-centered women. Courageous women. Women who do the work (both inner and outer) to better their own lives, the lives of those around them, and the state of the entire planet.

When I look out into the world, 2017 was a crazy year; there were times that I felt a bit disillusioned and disheartened. Gender inequality, sexual harassment and assault, systemic racism, homophobia, and xenophobia have been on full parade. I know that it must all rise to the surface to be dealt with, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or joyful. Seeing how we are willing to treat one another, the planet, and all of the living beings on it left me feeling beaten down a time or two.

I questioned if there was any way out of this mess. How we could even begin to bridge the ever-widening gaps and fractures between us.

There were a few moments when I wanted to give up on people all together and just focus on dogs!

But then, I look to the people around me, the people I actually know and see and interact with on a daily basis, – this community, my friends and family, my husband – and what I see is LOVE. People doing their best. Dealing with their own fears and shadows. Questioning how to show up and how best to serve. Wanting nothing more than to infuse the world with more goodness than how they found it, whatever that looks like to them.

When I think of that, I am struck by the raw, searing humanity of it all. How beautiful and flawed and whole we are. How beautiful this entire experience of life is when we open our hearts to it.

And it fills me with such inspiration, gratitude, and HOPE, that together we can do this thing.

We can create a world that is grounded in love and tolerance of all beings.

We can be strong enough to be soft and vulnerable.

We can feel the tremendous grief of the world and not crumble beneath it…or we crumble to eventually rise again.

We can stand for our own truth and hold space for others’ truths as well, even when they seem to contradict.

We can create a new way of living and being that is rooted in reverence because we are willing to ask what that looks like, what that feels like, and what that means.

This utopian ideal is accompanied by a bone deep knowing that this world is possible because I see those around me creating and living it moment to moment. It inspires me to do my part every single day…or at least most days. To fill my little corner of the world with as much love and wisdom and compassion and ferocity and truth as I can muster.

For the winter solstice, holidays, and the New Year, I offer this prayer…

May we all remember our interconnectedness, that our lives intersect in unexpected and unseen ways, that we are all woven into a shared tapestry by the thread of our humanity.

May we look beyond our surface differences by seeing with our hearts and souls instead of only with our eyes.

May we treat one another and the planet and all of the life upon it with respect, dignity, tolerance, and reverence, knowing that every single one of us is simply love brought into form.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you and happy holidays.

2018…My Year of No

Over the past couple of months I have realized something about myself.

I still have the propensity to say YES to things without taking the time to think or feel them through.

Sometimes it is my old people pleasing patterns rearing their ugly heads. I don’t want to disappoint the other person, so in the moment it seems easier to say yes and agree than to say no or ask for time to sit with it.

Other times I have SOS…aka Shiny Object Syndrome.

Whatever it is that I am saying yes to seems wonderful in the moment. Fun. A great opportunity. Something that definitely needs further exploration. I follow the new creative whim without second thought.

But then what often happens later down the road is that I begin to feel tired. My energy feels pulled in a hundred different directions. I feel assailed by my various obligations and responsibilities, left wondering, “Why exactly did I say yes to this?”

I find that I am unable to give my time and devotion to the projects, people, and pieces of my life that are in complete alignment because my time and energy is spread all over the damn place. A little bit here, a little bit over there…and just a smidge in that far corner!

Scattered. Ineffective. Frustrated.

That is how this pattern feels in my body.

Let’s be clear: This is NOT how I want to feel.

That is why I have named 2018 The Year of the Sacred No. This means getting really clear on what serves my soul AND the greater good, establishing how I wish to show up and be of service in this lifetime. It means more solid boundaries. Less Little Girl, more Sovereign Wise Woman.

It means taking the time to be discerning.

Because this process of saying no and releasing isn’t always as clear-cut as it would seem.

What does serve your highest good AND the highest good of all?

That is the question that we each must sit with. Because things can serve our ego and feel really good temporarily. Or they can serve our patterns and complexes and feel comfortably familiar for a while.

But that doesn’t mean they serve our souls or our sacred work. They are little more than pretty, glittery distractions.

The more aware I have become of my own energy and how I use it (or abuse it or leak it or nourish it), the more I own my responsibility in caring for it. Because I know that when I am depleted I cannot serve anyone fully.

Likewise, the more devoted that I have become to my purpose and my sacred work, the less I tolerate being pulled in hundreds of different directions.

I feel less potent. More watered down. And that scattered energy does not feel good in my body.

My invitation for you as 2017 comes to a close is to consider what role your Sacred No could play in your life in the upcoming year.

If you said no to things that you really don’t want to do, that aren’t fully aligned, what would that make space for in your life?

What would you be able to say HELL YES to if your energy and your time weren’t going out all willy-nilly in every direction?

If you released the maybes and close enoughs, allowed them to fall away like leaves off a tree in autumn, what would their energy transform into?

2018 is the year to claim your sovereignty. The creative power in your own life. This can be difficult to do on your own, as your ingrained patterns will prevent you from seeing where there is room to change and grow. If you feel pulled by the desires of others, and uprooted and detached from your own desire and sacred ground, I would love to speak with you about my Wise Woman Mentorship. To guide you back into yourself and into your fullness.

Visit my online calendar to schedule your initial 30-minute consult to see if this intimate mentorship would be a good fit for you.

Deepening My Devotion and Getting Crystal Clear for 2018

For me this fall has been about slowing down. Grounding. Allowing that which no longer serves to fall away with grace.

Though I am still in the midst of this process (which is sometimes less graceful than I intend…), something is coming through with more clarity than ever. My sense of purpose in my sacred work is both deepening and simplifying.

Sometimes I feel like I DO a lot of things, especially on the surface. But I have realized that all of my work stems from the same underlying energy and desire.

I am devoted to helping women to turn towards their wildly feminine soul.

I want to hold sacred space and help guide you to unearth, embody, and express your essence, your deepest truth.

The “wild” in wildly feminine alludes to the part of you that is innate. Natural. Primal. Before you were domesticated or told who you should be or what you should want or how you should act. It is your instinctual truth. Your natural rhythm.

The feminine refers not only to your womanhood, but also to your underlying state of being. Below the labels and the identifications. Underneath all those boxes that you check. Below your actions, your thoughts, and even your beliefs. THAT state of being.

In our busy, modern, western world it is easy to lose track of both: our wildness and our feminine. I know I did.

I excelled at doing what I was supposed to. Straight A student. Decent job. Money in the bank. Lots of friends. And yet my life felt a bit hollow. It lacked richness. Texture. Embodiment. Feeling.

It lacked SOUL.

Specifically, it lacked wildly feminine soul.

Finally I heard the call to come back home to myself and I could no longer ignore it. I answered and have devoted the last several years of my life to this journey. To reclaiming the lost or forgotten parts of myself, to growing into sovereignty and wholeness.

Now I am honored to be able to guide and hold space for other women through this rite of passage.

Through Qoya…By finding, exploring, and dancing with the physical sensation of truth in your body. Setting that as true north on your compass. Living life from the inside out. Embodying. Trusting your inner wisdom.

And through my Wise Woman Mentorship, my one-on-one coaching offering, where I help you become aware of and unhook from patriarchal patterns and programming.

Programming that may show up in your life in unhealthy little girl energy. People pleasing. Needing external validation. Over-functioning. Taking responsibility of other people’s emotions. Concern. Need for control. Never feeling ready. Overall insecurity.

Or it may show up in a need to be constantly busy. Never slowing down. Never allowing yourself to feel fully. Relentless pursuit of goals. Constant productivity. Pushing. Hardening. And beneath it all…an overall insecurity.

Instead we explore what it means to embody the Wise and Wild Woman. She who is rooted in her body and her feelings. She who sources internally and doesn’t rely on external validation. Who trusts in herself and her truth and the cycles of life. She who has turned toward and unearthed her wildly feminine soul, and embodies that energy, expresses that energy, through her very being.

All I can tell you is that when women begin to turn toward their soul, when they find the courage to dig in the ground of who they truly are, it unleashes a magic that cannot be described. Only felt.

If you feel called to embark on this journey, don’t ignore it. Don’t turn your back on your soul’s call. For more information on the Wise Woman Mentorship, visit my website. To learn more and see if the Wise Woman Mentorship would be a good fit for you as we move into 2018, schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Session via my online scheduler.

ALSO, if you desire to move into 2018 with greater clarity on your sacred work, both what you are devoted to in a big picture sense AND how to make that devotion manifest in manageable, actionable steps, join me and my friend Alyssa Johnson on December 18th for the Winter Solstice Soulful Strategy Virtual Workshop. In this workshop, and the Soul searching questions we will send you beforehand, you will get clear on your devotion and how to take aligned action in the coming year. For full details, click here.

 

 

This Question Drives Me Crazy…

Who are you without your story?

Ahh. A favorite question of life coaches everywhere. I have to be honest…it drives me crazy.

It didn’t always. I liked it for a while; it felt so freeing.

Who am I without my story?? I can be ANYONE! I am here in this body, in this place, and in this moment, anything is possible. My story is all that was holding me back!

And it’s not necessarily untrue; it’s just not the entire truth.

Stories that we tell ourselves can hold us back when we see ourselves solely as the main character, acting out a predestined script written by someone else. Especially when that script sucks and we believe bad things keep happening TO US. Then we allow past events to determine to our present and our future, as if change and evolution and growth are some kind of pipe dream.

In those instances our growth edge is claiming our part, taking back our creative power, and owning that we are responsible for parts of that story. Or at the very least the meaning that we make out of that story.

BUT, it can be easy to delude ourselves into the thinking we are the sole writer.

Yes, we get to write our stories.

But we are also written by our stories.

We are back at the paradoxical nature of wisdom. Our ever-evolving dance with life, where we are co-creators. At times taking the lead and other times being swept off our feet. Simultaneously in our creative power and surrendering to what is being created.

But the answer is not to shed our stories entirely. They give life context, texture, and meaning. Every scar carries a story…where we have been and what we have been through.

Stories tell the tale of a soul’s journey, both in external conquest and deep inner exploration. Without story, there can be no journey, and that robs us of some powerful soul medicine.

Story-less we are here and we are free, but that type of freedom is ungrounded.

It is a freedom that lacks embodiment because stories are not just mental constructs; they are imprinted in our cells.

Each and every experience in your life – trauma and joy alike – has left an imprint on your flesh, your bones, and your soul, regardless of what you “tell” yourself.

The reason it is easy to fall prey to ditching our stories is that it sounds and feels good. Lighter somehow. Blissfully familiar for many of us. It tastes of freedom because it tastes of transcendence. Our light and spirit obsessed society loves and longs for transcendence. It fits in nicely with our ideals of perfectionism, allowing us to transcend the whole, messy human experience.

So we jettison the stories in which we feel soft or dark or weak or heavy or contradictory, not wanting to take ownership of our wholeness. To own that on some level we are still the same person that we were when those stories were written.

The question then becomes not “who are you without your story?”, but rather, “who are you when you integrate all of your stories into the greater fabric of your being?” When all parts of you have a place and are not shamed into repression and external projection?

To reclaim your story is to reclaim your power, truth, and compassion, integrating the medicine of the past in the present and transforming it into nourishment for the future.

The Wise Woman Mentorship is not your average life coaching program. It is a sacred container that holds space for you to unearth your wildly feminine soul. To not just do what feels good or easy, but what feels TRUE. To honor your wholeness and the complexity of your being as a woman. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call now, visit my online scheduler or email me at singingbirdhealth@gmail.com.

Feel Like You Have Lost Your Path?

Embracing THE IN BETWEEN…

First, I have to come clean that the title/theme of this post was totally inspired by Stranger Things. Season 2?!? I mean, come on.

While not as terrifying as the upside down, the in between can also strike fear in the hearts of many. Myself included.

The in between is that liminal space. Metaphorical dusk. Where night has not quite fallen, but the day has come to a close. That magical time. The witching hour.

It is the bridge from one state of being to another.

No longer here and not yet there.

This is the creative feminine space. The dark and fertile space. The field of potentiality. The unknown.

It’s many beautiful and poetic sounding names allude to the inherent possibility of being in this space, but in reality it can also be really uncomfortable.

I will give you one example from my own life and from the women that I work with.

Many creative, spiritual, and/or wellness solopreneurs like myself shape their work around their own journey. You heal yourself and then take that knowledge out into the world to share with others. Your story itself becomes part of your sacred medicine.

But during that time, you also continue to evolve and grow and deepen.

Inevitably at some point, that thing you were teaching, the part of your story you were sharing that felt like your life’s work, no longer holds the same juice. (This happened to me with health coaching and speaking with people about food and body love.) There is less energy around it. Terms you used feel outdated. You develop new understanding. The medicine deepens.

And boom. You are thrust into the in between. You have outgrown the old, but you don’t have a solid handle on the new yet. You can sense it on the periphery; you feel it’s energy, but you can’t see it clearly yet.

The in between is like getting to the end of a path and finding that it opens up into a large meadow, and you have no idea where the new path picks up.

You have a few options.

You can always go back the way you came. Forget about finding the next leg of the path and opt to hold on to the old, the known. Our logical mind loves this because it has a firm grasp on it, and it will shoot a plethora of facts that support why this is the best idea. In our example of shifting or deepening your sacred work it may say things like “you built your whole business on this, you can’t change it now” or “you have taken so many courses to develop this knowledge, you don’t want that to be money down the drain” or “you have a whole library of books devoted to this topic, you better just stick with it”.

And while this path makes all the good, rational sense, a part of you feels like it’s dying when you think of choosing it. It feels like being slowly constricted to death. The old skin is too small to house the new awareness. And eventually the soul rebels. The body throws up red flags. Despite outward appearances, this old, trodden path suddenly reveals itself to be a lot less “safe”.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anaïs Nin

Another option is that you can begin frantically looking for where the path picks up again (key word: frantically). All you know is that you need to get out of this meadow, stat. You have to keep moving. You see what looks kind of like a path and you begin to follow it, but it peters out and you are surrounded by wilderness. You make your way back to the meadow, feeling discouraged and even more afraid. You try this over and over, with dozens of starts and stops, desperately searching for the one “right” path.

Eventually, you just pick one and go for it. Despite the fact that this way is full of brambles and thorns and obstacles impeding your progress, you push on. Determined to make it work because ANYTHING is better than being back in that big, open meadow.

Or, there is a third option. You greet the unexpected meadow with surprise, and maybe even a little glee or joy. You see it as an invitation to slow down. You close your eyes and bask in the sunshine on your face. You feel the breeze on your skin as it rustles the leaves of the trees at the meadow’s edge.

There is no fear or insecurity. No need to immediately pick a path, because even though you can’t yet see it, you KNOW the path is there.

Instead you relax. You lay down, surrendering your weight into the supportive energy of Mother Earth. You embrace this sacred pause on your journey with all of your heart, because you trust that the path will appear when it is time.

What would it feel like in your body if you could embrace the in between times in your life in this way?

Maybe it is because you have gotten to that point in your business where your old messaging feels stagnant or out of integrity, but the new messaging hasn’t solidified yet. Or perhaps it is a job or industry that is stifling, but you don’t know which other way to turn or what you really want to be doing. Or maybe multiple parts of your life feel out of alignment and stuck and it’s too overwhelming to even consider making a change.

What would it feel like if you trusted that it was safe for the old to die away, and that it was necessary in order for the new to be born?

What if you could relax into that in between space instead of running yourself ragged in circles trying to find your way out?

The in between is the witching hour. The magical, liminal space. Where the alchemy happens. It is a crucible of inner transformation that leads to outer manifestation…but only if you allow it to.

The Wise Woman Mentorship holds safe and sacred space for you to enter the crucible. To question and unravel the old – old thought patterns, habits, beliefs, and ways of being – and to make space for the new to emerge. To unearth and embody your wildly feminine soul. To schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call now, visit my online scheduler or email me at singinbirdhealth@gmail.com.